Who am I.......

Who am I really..........for a start my real name is not Ryanne Phillips, that's just an alias I use. I always loved that name for some reason. The reason I want to use an alias is because I feel that is the only way I will be able to write honestly and openly. I will tell you a few facts about me.

• I am English
• In my 20s and Married
• I suffer for clinical depression

I sometimes feel I am two different people. There is 'Me' happily married, full time job, just getting on with life. Then there is the real me 'Ryanne'. Ryanne is the voice inside me that I have been fighting with for years. She is strong single minded and very hard to live with.

This blog will mostly be about 'Ryanne'. I am trying to cope with her and this might work. I will be writing about how I really feel about Life,Love,My Depression and The Voice inside.

Firstly I see a therapist on a regular basis, she is brilliant. But the more I get to know here the more I hold back. I feel she will judge me, and the things I say. She has become like a friend and with my friends I hold back. When I first met her I could tell her anything, now I am getting to know her I have started to withdraw things. I know this is not helping me or her but it is a defence mechanism I use so know one gets to see the real me 'Ryanne'.

I have always suffered with depression in some way on another, but Clinical Depression seems to be the most destructive.

I hope you enjoy reading my blog and follow me as I learn to live with depression and 'Ryanne'