I think I am falling in love with someone else!

We had a bit of a fling, before I even met my husband. Well I say fling. It was more of a fumble at a party and we had one or two lunch dates.
The thing is I really fell for him, in a BIG way. A little time after a mutual friend of ours told me he had been out with him that night, and met "His" new girlfrind.
That was about 7 years ago. I STILL have feelings for him. It is driving me crazy. I even found my self driving around his home told (even though I knew he would be at work). We are in touch via email and I see him nearly every day (in a non-romantic way). I have just found my self emailing him again, I made up some stupid reason to email him.
Some friends and I went out In fancy dress and I emailed him some sexing pics of an outfit I wanted, the photo's wern't of me. Just of the thinner sexier model wearing the outfit.
What am I playing at, I'm married.
I friend of ours used to joke about the sexual tenison between us, and that we should just f**k and have done with it. I am starting to think she is right. We never did get that close.

I do love my husband and would never want to hurt him, So why am I doing this.

I think it has something to do with the depression, Like I said it seems to be self distructive.

"Me" doesn't want to take it any further, The happily married "Me" is happy as she is.
"Ryanne" on the other hand, is wanting to finish what she started.

I even found my-self 'googleing' his girlfriends name.